1–28–18, Saturday, 11:22pm
She doesn’t know how amazing she is and that is so frustrating. She inspires you to be a better person, to make changes in your life that will make you happier (both long-term and short-term decisions). Everything about her makes even the worst situations easier, like you can suddenly breathe in the sea of bad you feel like you’re drowning in. I think, when she was young, and her dad tossed her into the air to give her the brief feeling of flying before she came back down into his arms, he tossed her too high and sent her too close to the sun. I think, while she was up there, she absorbed the rays of the sunshine, giving her those freckles on her skin and the bright, vibrant glow to her personality that makes everyone turn to look when she comes in the room. If the color yellow had a living embodiment, it would be her. She became the color yellow on that day.
Her laugh is my favorite thing in the world. It is contagious, infectious, because it comes from within, from that little bit of happiness that still hides inside of her despite how she suspects that the happiness has run away. The sound of her laugh kills me because I know my laugh does not to the same to her as it does to me. But I am always brought back to life when she gets on that stage and sings her heart out — the star of the show no matter what role she is playing at that moment. Her musical dedication and love for creating will always put whatever words I write to shame; nothing I write will ever compare to the passion she shows in her art.
The softness of her voice is as soft as her heart. So kind, so compassionate, so generous. I didn’t know it was possible for someone to care about others as much as she does. Everyone else (and their problems) take priority over her own — it does not matter if their situation is less serious than her own. Sometimes I think she needs to focus on herself, but the love she has for other people is so inspiring, just one of the ways she unconsciously makes you strive to be better — so that your happiness rubs off on her, less stress for her to worry about (‘turn that frown upside down’ so to speak). I believe that when she was little and singing, the angels she believes in so much heard her practicing and came down to Earth to be her first audience ever and just never left; forever watching over her because her heart is so pure that she might as well be one of them, stuck on Earth, her voice her wings, taking her all over for all to hear. In turn, she protects all those around her, whether they asked for it or felt that they didn’t need it, she was there. Her friendship was like a constant, warm, comforting hug in a dark, cold time, her bright, yellow personality making everything better. Effortlessly.
And I am not religious but she has brought me closer to God. She is like a yellow taxi or school bus, transporting me in the direction of the savior through her grace, elegance, and faith. Bringing me to Him and Him to me, showing me that He is there even if I do not believe as I should. She allows me to selfishly pile onto her yellow bus of faith, with my textbooks of worry and stress, so she can take me to a place where it all melts away and I return elevated and empty handed because He has lifted the stress and worry from me and gave words of advice and strength through her.
With the power of God and communication with Him and her sunshine yellow personality she attracts all that is good. The people in her life are like sunflowers because they face her and she brings them strength and lifts them up with her confidence and enthusiasm for happiness. Her beauty makes people look at her, her joy makes them stay with her. (It could be argued however, that she is a sunflower and that the sun is everything good in this world as she is tall and beautiful like a sunflower and is pulled towards all that is positive.)
I could argue that she is like amber, soft and yellow, growing only better with each passing day. The bugs stuck in the amber are the things she hates about herself, not realizing that it adds to her appeal. Her imperfections make her perfect. Those imperfections make her who she is, make her unique, make her interesting. They make her fascinating. She is like amber because just like amber, when she is shined on she glows and is yellow and when a shadow is cast upon her life she is dark.
This is not to say she is without her bad days too. She is human and sometimes no matter how many angels you have you can still be a lemon — sour when left untreated (but when given a little attention, sugar, and love everything can turn around and she can be sweet). She gives so much that sometimes she, like any normal person, can get tired, and in those moments, she needs to be given all that she gives out without a second thought. Like lemons, like sunflowers, like amber, like yellow doors, she can become bruised and break under too much stress. But just like all those things, she is not without hope of healing; never will she ever get to the point of no return because she is strong, she is rooted. She is ever changing and adjusting to her surroundings (much like any good performer could and should).
But she does not understand any of this. She does not understand, does not look to understand any of this about herself. But does she really too? This is who she is and who she is is and will be amazing. Never embellished, never gloating, only given what she is owed. This person is the epitome of being the happiest color on Earth and she does not even know. This beautiful, caring, representation of love does not realize all that she is and all that she does and no amount of telling her will help her even begin to be aware of her worth in this world, in this galaxy. The angels that guard her have not taken her from us, all the proof that I need to learn that she does so much good here on this seemingly hopeless place of endless struggle.
If the color yellow was person, it would be her.
